i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
