I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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