You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
