Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
