she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
