The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
