great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
