Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
