I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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