And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
