whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize