I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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