Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize