which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
