When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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