new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
