Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
please don't ironically join a cult
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