i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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