I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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