I heard we made out
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm always down for nudity.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize