if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
