i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.