THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
