..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize