when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
please don't ironically join a cult
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