I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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