What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My life is pants optional.
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