Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
