well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
