the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize