i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
