I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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