they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
