Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
