from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
