Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
