you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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