i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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