Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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