We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
