AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
