At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
