this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
