im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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