I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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