I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
