she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
