she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
