remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Come on in and take your pants off
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