she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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