I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
