you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
