New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize