Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
