I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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