We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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