There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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